There’s been a lot of chatter on this subject recently, because of the Andy Dalton contract, and as it relates to the Chiefs, the most important question of this season: What is Alex Smith’s standing within the NFL’s most distinguished fraternity?
So I figured ranking the league’s QB’s made perfect sense for this week’s 3, 2, 1: List Off. Yanno, get it out there before all the fun begins, so it’ll be easy to ridicule and laugh at me throughout the season.
List clarifications: Salary and age do not play a factor in this list. It’s based purely on who I’d want to QB a team made from scratch for this season. I used each team’s projected starting QB for the list. They are broken down into asymmetrical, appropriately named tiers.
Week Negative Three: NFL Quarterbacks
*The Warren Moon Tier*
1. Peyton Manning – The greatest (regular season) QB in NFL history
2. Drew Brees – Always mentioned, but his place with the greats is understated (400 yards away from 4th all time in passing)
3. Aaron Rodgers – I have the feeling people will freak out about me calling Rodgers the 3rd best QB in the world
4. Tom Brady – Was more Andrew Luck (great when it matters) than Peyton (great all the time [regular season]) last year
*The Mark Brunell Tier*
5. Russell Wilson – Might answer questions about carrying the offensive workload if Marshawn’s play declines this year, but I believe the kid is magic
6. Andrew Luck – Might be my first choice if asked who I’d choose to lead a game winning 2 minute drive
7. Phillip Rivers – The big question is: Can he repeat his success without Ken Whisenhunt?
8. Ben Roethlisberger – Surprisingly only 32 years old, but how old is his body?
9. Colin Kaepernick – People seem to think he’s overrated but I can’t figure out why, has dominated multiple playoff games
10. Tony Romo – What? I have to have a strong opinion on Tony Romo?
*The Jeff Blake Tier*
11. Matt Ryan – Downgraded because he might have the least amount of personality possible for a human being
12. Nick Foles – The most intriguing QB of 2014, if he comes close to repeating 2013 then he joins upper tier
13. Cam Newton – Set up to fail this season, equipped with terrible WR’s and OT’s, I wouldn’t pay him top dollar
14. Joe Flacco – I wouldn’t do anything but hookers and blow for a whole year either if I had just won the Super Bowl
15. Jay Cutler – Most inconsistent QB in the league, could conceivably get hot a la Flacco, or poop the bed a la Caleb Hanie
16. Alex Smith – With Andy Reid he’s 2 spots higher, without him he’s 4 spots lower
17. Eli Manning – Not a fan of the G-Men’s new offensive strategy focusing on short passes, biggest strength is his deep ball
18. Matt Stafford – The most overrated QB in the game due to fantasy, draft position and Calvin Johnson
*The Jake Delhomme Tier*
19. Robert Griffin III – Huge season ahead that could range anywhere from fantastic to awful, I’m clueless
20. Andy Dalton – Bengals are as good as any team in the league 2-53, too bad the Red Rocket goes limp in the playoffs
21. Ryan Tannehill – Andy Dalton without the talent around him
*The Neil O’Donnell Tier*
22. Josh McCown – Has a bit of Rich Gannon potential, still can’t believe TB replaced The Albinosaur, Mike Glennon
23. Johnny Football – I can’t watch his preseason games, just can’t do it, feeling too good about football starting, don’t wanna another bout of Johnny Depression
24. Carson Palmer – Almost put him higher because of Arizona’s success last year, but he threw 20 INT’s, it was all their defense
*The Jay Fiedler Tier*
25. Sam Bradford – Just biding time before my boy, Shaun Hill, leads the Rams to the promised land this year
26. EJ Manuel – If he can get it together, the Bills are flushed with talent around him
27. Matt Cassel – Not as terrible as Chiefs fans would like to remember, once had a season statistically better than Alex Smith’s 2013
28. Matt Schaub – Recently passed by Cincinnati’s Matt Scott as the 11th best QB in the world named Matt
*The Quincy Carter Tier*
29. Ryan Fitzpatrick – As much as I want to like the Harvard man, he’s never won more than 6 games in a season
30. Jake Locker – Believe it or not, has exceeded my expectations for him coming out of college
31. Geno Smith – I have nothing to say about Geno, I’ve already thought about him way too much for one lifetime
32. Blake Bortles – Still have no idea how he was drafted ahead of Football/Bridgewater
That’s it, that’s the list. Think I’m a dummy? Tell me why on Twitter (@HisDirkness).
And remember, it’s always better to be list off, then to be list on.
I’m His Dirkness